Oh shit, he’s here again, I thought as I choke on my Spooky Spiced Mocha. My crush, the man of my dreams, just walked into our favorite cafe. I assume it’s also his favorite because this is the fifth time I’ve seen him here. Not that I’ve been keeping count. It’s only 11am though, he’s here about 30 minutes earlier than usual. Not that I’ve been keeping track of that, either.
I watch from the farthest seat in the back of the cafe as he orders. I nicknamed him Coffee Boy, ‘cause he likes coffee, and looks like a fine ass cup of it too. He’s tall, with chocolate brown hair. Poodle-like curls, with puppy dog eyes to match. I’ve never been close enough to see the color of his eyes but I imagine I’d get lost in them anyway. He’s smiling -- he always smiled as he ordered, always beaming, always happy about something. I need more of that in my life; more of him in general. Plus his jawline is so strong it probably benches 350. I need more of that in my life too.
I wonder what he smells like. Never been close enough to tell. Today he’s dressed comfortably; a v-neck, dark grey sweatpants, with a flannel wrapped around his waist. Maybe he had an early workout this morning, took a quick shower, threw on something and left. He probably wore that shirt two days ago, and thought “no stains, no problem” and wore it again. Which I don’t mind at all; he can defs still get it. He probably smells... earthy, like... like, I don’t know, oak leaves or something. Mixed with his fav coffee blend. Like a clean lumberjack in the morning. He probably smells so F-ing good.
Finishing up, Coffee Boy stood out of line to wait for his order. He grabbed a stirring stick and set it between his lips as he checked his phone. He pressed the stirring stick against his bottom lip and I swear to God I’ve never wanted to be a stick so bad ‘til now. His lips look full and soft, although I’ve never been close enough to confirm. I bet he constantly tastes like coffee -- which again I’m down with that, he can definitely still get it.
I’ve seen him here five times now, and each time I haven’t even gotten close enough to see what color his eyes are, let alone talk to him. Each time, I’ve sat in the back and watched him get his coffee and leave. I don’t even know his name, but I wish I could touch him. To hold his hand, to feel his skin, to embrace him. I just want to be close to him. To get to know him. To go out with him, and actually fall in love with him. For him to fall in love with me.
But I can’t even talk to him.
I know all of that will never happen. So I’ll just settle for the fantasy.
He finally got his order -- a bagel and a coffee like always. I’m prepared to watch him leave again. But instead of turning towards the door he turned and started walking towards me.
Oh shit.
He took a seat at the conveniently empty table; a spot diagonally across from me.
Oh my God.
For the first time ever he's close enough where I can finally see his eye color. Of course Coffee Boy has coffee colored eyes. He even smells like coffee -- but it’s probably just the smell of the coffee he's drinking. It's heavily sweet, chocolatey, and familiar; he was feeling festive and bought the Spooky Spiced Mocha too. I watched as the cup touched his lips and I tried not to stare but I couldn't help myself; he's even sexier up close. I have been blessed but I am not WORTHY--
His lips started moving.
“...”
I was still staring at his lips -- not at the words they were forming, but at how juicy they really were. They kept moving before I realized he was talking and that he was talking to me. I finally looked him in the eyes, which wasn't a good idea either. If I'm not reading his lips then I definitely don't know what he's saying.
“...”
I can’t believe this, what do I d--
I froze out of embarrassment before resorting to the only obvious thing I could tell him.
“I’m sorry,” I mouthed and signed in ASL. I pointed to my ear. “I’m deaf.”
Puzzled, he paused and looked back into my eyes. My heart sank. But then he beamed a smile.
“It's okay,” he spoke and signed almost naturally. “Please excuse my shitty ASL.”