Taylor is a graduating high school senior attempting to write her first admittance essay.
TAYLOR:
(Speaking and writing)
Why do I deserve admittance to this college? Because I am the best there is. There IS no other option. You see those other kids? The ones with 4.0’s? Wack. The tri-sport athletes? Wack. The rich White kids with money to burn? WACK. I am a BROKE Black girl with average grades and asthma, but let me tell you somethin’.
I am passionate.
I am beautiful.
I am a Cancer Sun/Leo Rising, and I am WORTH. IT.
Who else can do it better? I’ll answer that -- no one. See, I’m already one step ahead of the game. I have always been successful; not always in the most conventional ways, but I always find myself in first place. Like when I won the bake off senior year. I didn’t make any of the desserts but I told my group to do tiramisu and it was the best damn tiramisu Miss Johnson had ever tasted. I took Advanced Culinary II before even considering Culinary I. ‘Cause I ain’t fuckin’ basic.
I am not “smart.” I am an intellectual. I make the right decisions because all I know are right decisions. Like when Jake Evans broke up with me in the 10th grade. Yeah, sure, he was hot, but did I get lost in the sauce? Did I want to get back together? Okay yes, but we didn’t and thank God -- ‘cause the current Jake Evans won’t shave his dirty mustache and thinks his B.O. smells “manly.” I chose to delete his number, I ignored the sauce and since then my skin has been clear, I am hydrated, and my crops are flourishing. You need this type of goodtness on your campus and I can assure you you can’t get it anywhere else.
Look no further, my guy. You found her, yes, here she is. Who is she? She’s me, and I’ll prove it to you. I have plans to change the world. I’ve seen, firsthand, paths that I don’t want to take, so I strive for different ones. I am confident and driven, in a world where that’s seen as a threat, and so I am deemed as just “loud and angry.” Well I AM loud and angry, and I demand to be heard. I work hard because I am not privileged enough to be handed what I want. I am better than what the world sees me as, so therefore, I am the best.
Do I deserve admittance to this college? The answer is yes. And so should others like me.
(Pause)
But I’m also, like, hella cute, so you should accept me first.